Why I Chose Not to Move to London

Don’t let your dreams die.

That’s been my M.O. most of my adult life. I moved across the country to go to school in a city I’d always dreamt of living. I started a clothing company because it was my dream to be my own boss. I traveled to places I’d always dreamed of experiencing for myself. I forewent the corporate path because I’d spent years dreaming of being a full-time creative.

So, why then, would I go against a near decade-long dream of moving to and living in London?

Last year, I was in London around this time and I truly pictured myself living there. A week later, I turned 30 while in Paris and the clock started ticking.

I officially had one year left in my dream to move abroad to the UK. As a member of a Commonwealth country, you can apply for a Youth Mobility Visa for the UK as long as you’re aged 18-30. You can apply so long as you’re still 30. As soon as you hit 31 though, that’s it. It’s too late.

It’s officially too late for me. At least, it is on that visa. And it was one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever had to make.

Since I first visited London in 2014, I had told myself that I was going to move there someday. I could have gone when I graduated in 2015, but I decided to stay. Once again, in 2018, there was another opening — but I found a comfortable job that I liked and, once again, decided to stay. Then we all know what was happening between 2020 and 2022.

That brings us to 2023. I spent a lot of time over the past couple months agonizing over this decision. It honestly felt like such a 50/50 decision most of the time. I’d wake up one day and the decision would be I’m moving. The next day, I’m staying. It was such a confusing flip-flop.

Friends told me I should go so I didn’t regret it. They told me to write a pros and cons list, which I did. I tried to talk to a handful of creatives living in the UK. None of it really swayed me in either direction.

I don’t want to live a life with regrets. But even a few days before my 31st birthday, I was still wholly undecided. However, while reading The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest, I feel like I slowly had a realization.

I’d had this dream in my head for nearly ten years, which is why I felt this gigantic pressure to follow through even though the circumstances around how that dream came about had completely changed.

2014: Early 20s, about to finish business school, single, dreaming of exploring all of Europe, ready to find a stable 9-5 marketing job in a big city.

2023: Early 30s, long out of school, in a long-term relationship, already explored parts of Europe, and in the early stages of an entirely new career.

I think this pressure made me try to pigeonhole this dream as a good fit. My list of pros included: a fresh start, personal growth, more/better creative opportunities, a creative community of friends, more diversity, etc.

But if I’m being honest, all of the aforementioned things were location agnostic. They weren’t entirely dependent on London as a city itself. There was nothing specific about London that I really wanted to experience as a resident. They could be found in other cities, even Vancouver.

The truth is: I didn’t want to accept that I was using London as a way to run away. To escape. I was placing the idea of inner fulfillment and true happiness in a faraway location, rather than within myself. If I just move to London, then all these problems I have with living in Vancouver will magically be solved.

The only one that seemed plausible was better opportunities for my career. However, with the type of work I want to move towards (documentary/travel), it’s really not bound by being in one specific city. Great stories are everywhere and the Internet exists as the great equalizer to connect us.

I realized that I’d rather take the money I would’ve spent on a flat living in London and use it to do more intentional, slow travel over the next two years. Instead of complaining about the scene in Vancouver, I have to be part of the solution and at least try to build my community here — especially because I plan to be here long-term.

When I’m reflecting on the roller coaster of emotions I’ve had the last couple of months, I think it boils down to this: Sometimes, dreams do need to die so there’s space for new ones to grow.

Here’s to all the new dreams we’ll find after coming to peace with leaving old ones behind.

Editor’s Note: Two days after this was published, the Canada and UK governments announced a new agreement to extend the Youth Mobility Visa from 18-30 to 18-35.